Dear readers of the webcomic-genre defining blog that is the PikaPoke blog,
Put down your crackpipes for a moment and read this, you'll have to mute the episode of Jeremy Kyle that your watching, but don't worry, you have the whole series Sky+'ed.
Good news, we have been challenged by a rival webcomic, its name is instantly forgettable, something about '
The Princess and Mr Professorface', anyway, they want to take us on at our own game, and good luck to them. The author, Imogen Clarke (25), is a professional female cricketer with a penchant for raspberries, while we've never met, it is only proper to respond with our best efforts and let the fans decide who's webcomic best represents the spirit of the French revolution and its continuing impact on society.
"Ricky likes to have projects in his life to take his mind off how bad his job is"
-I don't like it, it's necessary!
"I don’t know what savanna animals are, but that’s what Ricky said they were"
-Wikipedia definition of Savannah: 'Shannon Michelle, commonly known by her stage name of Savannah, was an American pornographic performer, starring in more than 100 pornographic videos during her career.'
"...but he took the plastic bag. The empty plastic bag. I don’t know why. It wasn’t a mistake"
-I needed it to help me steal a particularly nice pint mug from the pub we were in. Bet you feel silly now.
"There actually was more space in it that day, because the day before I’d been carrying a tuna sandwich and bottle of water, which Ricky knew as we ‘d discussed this and he’d described the contents of my bag as ‘contraband’."
-The door staff at that venue were laughably ineffective, with not even the most basic of searches for contraband, I personally smuggled in three bottles of cider which would have cost three times the amount at the bar.
"I suppose you would assume that the sandwich would have been gone by the next day – particularly if you had seen me eating it the evening before, which Ricky may well have."
-I did, it was disgusting!
"In fact they did fit, although not comfortably"
-Things don't need to fit comfortably in your bag, it dosent have feelings. Unless you mean that the bag was so full that it caused you pain some how, in any case, your focus is way off where it should be (webcomics).
"The next day, I made my first comic. It was magnificent."
-Beginners luck!
"The competition had begun.....it is likely to just end up being a popularity contest."
-It will probably be won by submission, when one of us gives up on writing....Don't you have a PHD thesis to write?
Conclusion:
Imogen is a failed playwright while I am a failed comics writer, surely I have a natural advantage! In fact, no matter what criteria for analysis you use, I am the favourite, eg if you use a boxing analysis, I have superior height, weight AND reach on her, so where's the competition!
Note: While you were reading this you got slightly closer to death and achieved nothing!
